Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
