So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
