What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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