Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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