We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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