Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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