Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
