I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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