i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
