My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
