Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
