just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
