what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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