My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize