Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
