i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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