Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I touched a dick in church today
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