Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
