why didn't you poke me back
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
