problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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