Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
