I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize