this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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