You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize