He is an equal opportunity slut.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
