I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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