So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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