If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize