I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
