i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
