so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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