You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
