HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
