I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
