Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
