bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
