I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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