I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
