Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
