My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
