Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
