My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
