I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They took my balls.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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