ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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