he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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