yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
