Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
