just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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