what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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