In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
