the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
