for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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