But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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