She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
BRING THE BAGELS
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
