Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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