I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
