We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
ok first of all what the fuck
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
