C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
